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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Tagboard
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Saturday, December 12, 2009   Yesterday was really an exhausted day for me. Posted by Janet at 10:35 AM  Wednesday, December 09, 2009  I'm going to be like her during my holidays. I hope at the very least, I'm able to accomplish this.. Posted by Janet at 5:39 PM Monday, December 07, 2009 I feel so terrible. For once, I realized how miserable and tormenting it can be for not doing well. What’s the point of regretting? But I can’t stop worrying and thinking about it.It’s really very pressurizing. I feel so painful. This is my 1st time feeling so regretful! Can anyone please tell me what to do in order to get what I want? Posted by Janet at 8:00 PM There was neither communication nor eye-contact; a piece of shawl simply warmth my shivering body. I was quite surprised of that consideration and care by just an ordinary one. Perhaps it is what anyone will do, maybe that was just a simple concern, or it could be an act of politeness and courteous. Anyway, it’s really a pleasant night for me. Truly, it’s just an ordinary one on an ordinary night with an ordinary action but it is not ordinary to me. Goodnight. Posted by Janet at 12:01 AM Thursday, November 26, 2009 Ahhh! My grades are like decelerating compared to my previous semester. Oh my gosh, how can I allow such things to happen throughout this whole semester? But anyway, I’m lazy to sit there for hours just to understand everything.My grades are like shit! They’re so disgraceful till my dad said this.. Daughter: eh daddy, I show you my grades..come come Daddy: huh? These are your grades? How come like that ? Daughter: what thing like that? Daddy: I didn’t expect it to be so low until like that lo What the shit right? so low until like that lo? Goodness! *sigh! I need to seriously settle down and mug for my coming exams..May God bless me :( Posted by Janet at 6:01 PM Saturday, November 21, 2009 As I was gazing into the darkness, never did I realize that there are so many things for me to reach out for.Somehow, I feel that my current situation and all the emotions I’ve had for are so tiny. The hardest thing to comprehend in this world is human’s mind. Guilt, remorse coupled with self-reproach embraced my dignity and pride. Though I know facts have been placed on the table, I’m still aware that I’ve not devoured by the evil side of what everyone has. Today’s gospel is about forgiving. Forgive your enemy so as to forgive yourself. To forgive is to let go, rather than living in the unforgivable and merciless life. Avoiding someone and be extra cautious is just a part my characteristics. It’s rather evident that I’ve changed in a way or another, after an incident occurred. What I’m trying to say is spare me time. Posted by Janet at 8:35 PM Monday, November 16, 2009 Drops of water trickled down my cheeks as I flicker my eyelids, I just can’t control my emotions. Many questions start dashing out of my mind as I tilt my head up. I ponder. I was answered with tears gushing out and I let my head burying into my arms.The room was filled with silence, agony along with sorrow. I realized that untruth hurts more than truth. Imagining comfort comes after harsh comments were unveiled; will that still consider a sincere comfort? I was sentenced by cruel judgment from others, besides that, I wasn’t given any opportunity to stand up for myself. I could have, I could be, and I could. All these words seem to be repeating deep down my throat. It doesn’t serve any purpose of burying myself into the misery, knowing the fact that pain was indeed tormenting. Be it to any one, nobody can withstand such insufferable circumstances again and again. Perhaps my joy is ephemeral. Not to worry, Janet doesn’t die easily to critics. Likewise, she doesn’t deserve death sentence from others. Who is she is not for you to judge if you’re just an acquaintance. Passer by are ones who just board the bus, and will alight at the next stop. I shouldn’t even care about people who board and alight in my life, because there will be more people in the future boarding and alighting. Posted by Janet at 9:34 PM Saturday, November 14, 2009 I’m so afraid. I’m so frightened and terrified that history might repeat itself. I’m that petrified deep within me, nevertheless, history seem to be repeating. Can you hear my voice, yearning for help?I feel so helpless; Can you see the fear deep down in me? Ah, I plead and seek for enlightenment. Lord, I need you once again. Posted by Janet at 3:29 PM What shit am I doing? Why should poke my nose into other’s business? Eh come on, it’s really none of my business. What’s with all the anger and agitation coming from? Please Jarnerd, please tell yourself not to even care, not to bother and not to mess with other’s business. You have too much things to worry about. Can someone please tell me that destiny, fate & affinity exist? Are there such things as occurrences in your life? Can someone preach something like this to me? Posted by Janet at 2:36 AM |
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But You're Not Alone
Always There Waiting For You |
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